So this whole resolutions thing is really not my style if you haven’t noticed. I can usually pick one thing and focus on that really well, but the problem is that I don’t usually pick something. This is my problem. This also hints at my scattered brain.
I didn’t always have a scattered brain, but something about the stress of school and not being entirely sure that I’m headed in the direction that I want to be in my life seems to make me very jumpy. Then again, I don’t think I was ever very good at sitting still, but that’s another story for another time.
So a little more than a week into this whole I’m going to revamp my life, I’ve managed to wrestle with the whole do one thing at a time, try to slay the insomnia dragons that keep my up at night, and have been constantly berating myself inside my head about my TV addiction (which I didn’t have until a considerable amount of time after I graduated college…go figure).
In terms of progress, I’m making some. My problem is that I want things to be perfect from the get go and that’s what always does me in. Let’s go in order here, otherwise your head will be spinning from my jumpiness.
1. the diet – In my head I think that if I can eat strict paleo, I will feel a whole lot better. Rationally, I think that’s probably true to some degree, but I think that the real reason I don’t feel super great is a mood issue and a lack of moving issue rather than a diet issue. While I still eat within the bounds of paleo and primal, I also believe that my body knows what it needs. If I don’t want to eat it there is probably a good reason why. Same goes for if I want to eat something. So, the yogurt that I’ve been buying at the farmer’s market is staying. I also bought some creamy harvest pumpkin chevre today. Now, mind you, this whole want thing is more like a sensation of that would be good, that wouldn’t be good. Case in point, I love eggs and last week I was having major egg aversion. So, I ignored eggs for a while. I ate steak instead and that perked me up.
2. sleep – If anything this has gotten worse. Once I can manage to fall asleep, I seem to be sleeping okay, but I am having major issues getting to sleep. I think it’s all the guilt and stress from studying. I hate sitting down for long periods of time and my mind is very jumpy. At least I’m on my own time. I’m hoping to get the sleep dialed back to normal sleeping hours, but I’m also trying to take advantage of when I’m feeling focused, which unfortunately seems to be when I’m having insomnia. I’m not fighting this sleep thing too hard mostly because I was really stressing out about it and that didn’t seem to be helping any.
3. Drink more water – I am drinking more water now that I’m working at home. Since I know that I can get up and use the bathroom anytime I want, I can drink water with abandon. I’ve been trying to get through a gallon of water a day. Coffee and tea count. I’m pretty sure that drinking more water helps me feel better, it’s just that I am still having problems balancing out enough water intake with the number of trips I need to make to the restroom.
4. Cut out watching online TV – This has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. I never had a TV habit until a considerable time after I graduated from undergrad and even then it was more of a exhausted, I need to turn my brain off for a while kind of zombie TV watching. Unfortunately, the stress of being banished to a life of studying asceticism has brought out the rebel in me and I’ve developed a terrible online TV watching habit. I watch TV to escape, I watch TV to be entertained, I watch TV to live vicariously through a bunch of made up characters. It’s not good. At this point my relationship with TV is a habitual turning to, which has gradually gotten better, but it’s hard to tell myself not to watch TV and to get going on that dreaded pile of work.
5. Do one thing at a time – This is probably the one thing that I’ve actually been doing more of lately. I know that I feel fragmented when I do more than one thing at a time. It’s hard to do one thing at a time especially things like eating. When you live alone, online TV ends up being your company. I have been trying harder to eat by the window and just look outside and really taste my food. Easier said than done, but I’m working on it.
In other news, I have been getting out to exercise, which has been good. I think it keeps me sane. Plus, I get to catch up with a friend and I need that social time in my day.
Well, back to work for me. Happy Thanksgiving to all the Canadians out there.