Reset, reboot…back to the basics

It has been a not so happy couple of weeks.  I think that ever since my labor day binge of foods that I don’t usually eat my eating and living has been a bit off.  The last week or so has been especially bad.  So, I’m getting back to the basics, getting things straightened up in my life.  Tomorrow, being the first of October, seems like a great day to start.

So…the things that I’m going to do:

1. Get back to a stricter Paleo diet – I’ve moved to a bit more of a primal stance, which is fine, but I think I took too many liberties with it.  So, it’ll be back to cutting out sugar completely and dialing down the dairy.  I might consider cutting out the dairy, but at the present moment, sugar seems to be more of the issue.  When I say sugar here I mean in the honey, maple syrup forms.

2. Sleep on a schedule – I experienced first hand what it is to have insomnia for the last three nights.  Uncool.  I’m going to see if I can get into a good sleep pattern.  It’s vital to my studies right now, so it’s going to help me out in a bunch of ways.

3. Drink more water – I am terrible at drinking water…I keep talking about it.  Maybe this time I can get the hang of this drinking water thing.

4. Cut out watching online TV – This one is going to be a tricky one.  Watching TV is more bad habit than anything.  I’m going to have to replace it with something else.  That something else is still TBD.  I’ll update you when I’ve figured it out.

5. Do one thing at a time – I have this terrible habit of doing more than one thing at a time.  Usually, it’s trying to watch online TV while cooking or eating.  Not a good idea.  So, I will be doing exactly one thing at a time.  If I’m cooking, I’m cooking.  If I’m eating, I’m eating.  It’s not the easiest thing to do.  Living alone, sometimes you want company and online television tends to be that company for me.  However, no longer.  I need to make peace in my brain and I need to dial down the confusion.  Doing more than one thing at a time is probably spiking my cortisol like no other, so this is my gesture towards reducing my cortisol levels.

And with that, I’m headed to sleep.  I got a fantastic massage today that got rid of my terrible headache (a headache that proved to be stubborn against even two Aleve), so now it’s time to reap the benefits and tuck in for a good night of sleep.

Till next time.  Happy Weekend!

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Rants, thoughts, and other things

I am somewhere between bored and depressed.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a ton of things to do, but sitting inside all day in front of a computer drives me batty.  I know, I’m supposed to take frequent breaks, get outside, and all that jazz.  I’m just frustrated and need to vent somewhere, so this is my rant for today.  I’m sure you’re jazzed that I’m writing a rant for my first post in a while.  (uh huh…don’t lie…you can leave now and I’ll still be your friend…I promise.)

Some thoughts…I need to drink more water.  This is the problem with me and water, though, drinking water makes me need to get up every half hour or so.  Remembering to drink water is another issue.  I know I need to drink more water, but it’s really a problem for me.  What’s worse is that for the next month-ish, I need to do a lot of studying and having to pee all the time is really not helping that endeavor.  (I wanted to spell that with a “u” and be all British.)  If I’m out studying, which is how I do my best studying, having to pee entails either believing that the stranger that I ask won’t steal my things (including my computer) while I’m in the bathroom or packing up and hauling everything to the restroom and potentially losing my table.  You see why I’m having a problem with water.  My ideal situation is to go out studying with a friend I won’t talk to and then being able to get up when I really do have to pee.  This however has not traditionally worked out so well.  Sigh.

Moving on…I’ve also been having issues with sleep.  (I’m sure you anticipated this when I started in about the water.)  I’m stressed and probably anxious so I’m up late messing around and not being productive.  Today is a case in point.  I went to sleep late last night and tried to force myself to get up early.  I felt isolated all day, so took a break to take a walk to grab some coffee thinking this would help me concentrate.  The coffee was mediocre and I fidgeted all day long without any real progress.  I’m also eating way too much chocolate.  I clearly need to stop.

Speaking of chocolate, I think I’m on an extended sugar binge that began with having a few non-paleo days back at the beginning of the month.  From the fruit and honey in yogurt all the way to my latest chocolate binge, I really need to stop.  I’m sure that all this sugar is really not helping me at all.

I’ve been having some digestive issues of late, which I’m not sure where it’s coming from.  Back in the day, I would eat some rice gruel for a while to calm things down, but I have no rice in my apartment.  So, that’s not going to happen.  Not to mention that at this point having been grain free for a few months, I’m just not really all that interested.

I also know that I’m in desperate need of more exercise.  My trainer went renegade and now trains people at home, which is all great and all except my apartment is not very large and the floor is terribly sensitive.  Sneeze at it and it’ll get a scratch or dent.  Gotta love cheap construction.  So, in the process, I also stopped going to the gym I was at because there really is no point.  I do have a standing date for afternoons at the park with a friend, which is good, but not enough.  I also seem to lack the interest in actually exercising.  Blah.

I don’t know who came up with this modern lifestyle of electronics, inside-ness, sitting all day, and productivity, but it stinks.  It’s terrible.  I hate it and it’s really not my style.  I know I should change my life and all that, but I’m just really annoyed at some of the hoops and ways that I have to get to where I’m trying to go.  What’s worse is that what I’m seeing makes me less and less inclined to want to join the professional tribe that I’m training for.  Big Sigh.  (Yes, I capitalized that “s.”)

I know what I need to do (for most of the things I’m ranting about), but with the boredom, the isolation from social interaction, and well, not really wanting to learn what I am supposed to be learning, I’m just having a hard time taking a big breath and starting over.  If I don’t start off my day right, things usually get worse and not better.   Thus, I think that tucking in early tonight is probably my best bet for breaking out of this funk.

If you got all the way down here, I thank you for your compassion and for “listening.”  I’m going to go and take a deep breath and try and calm down to sleep.  Hopefully, I can come back with something more interesting.  I did make a paleo pizza of sorts if you want to go and check that out.  That’s the best that I’ve got for you.

Night night.

 

So I’ve been thinking…

I’ve been thinking about just writing one blog.  I have this weird compartmentalization need that makes me want to write a different blog for every different thing, but when things overlap, I get confused.  I’m thinking about putting everything on Funny Eater, but I still haven’t decided on it fully.  I guess I’d like a blog title that sort of encompasses everything or isn’t really just one thing, then again, does it matter?

In other news, I’ve forgone the primal challenge.  It’s not my style and I’ve been experimenting with some dairy lately.  I’m more focused on getting my other life things in order, so no primal challenge for me.  It’s fun to read the posts though.

I just got back from the farmer’s market and today is a beautiful day out, so after a little cleaning and getting all my market goodies washed and photographed, I’m thinking of spending a meditative afternoon outside somewhere doing some journaling and relaxing.

I keep thinking that I need to be more up and energetic, but I think that ultimately, I need some down and peacefulness.

 

Challenges

The primal challenge starts tomorrow.  I’m still on the fence about the whole thing.  Mostly because I’m not sure what the whole thing entails.  I suppose I could have done a little investigating, but I was busy cooking today (and procrastinating, but that’s another story).  In considering this whole primal challenge though, I have some things that I would like to work on.  I’m doing pretty well on the food front.  The parts that I’m having trouble with are concentrating.

I don’t have a television, which is a very good thing.  However, I can still watch TV online.  That’s the bad part.  I watch online TV for a lot of reasons.  Usually, it’s to keep me company while I’m eating.  Sometimes it’s to stave off loneliness or reward myself for working hard all day.  I realize though that TV is sucking up my life and I’m not doing any of the things that I really need to be doing.  So this next month, I’d like to be more present.  I’d like to focus more.

So, I’m doing one thing at a time this coming month.  I wanted to banish myself from online TV altogether, but I think that focusing on doing one thing at a time will have the same effect while developing a habit that I would like for a lot of different areas of my life.

That’s all for now.  Stay tuned for whether I end up doing the primal challenge or not.  We shall see.  “It’s a mystery” (from the movie Shakespeare in Love).

 

I did not forget

I did not forget that today is a somber anniversary.  My thoughts are with those who are marking today with their remembrances, memorials, and tributes.  I, like, many people remember this day 10 years ago.  I remember what my life was like for many days and months following.  I am not participating in any of the organized events today, nor am I in New York.  I am not sure that I want to be – the memories are enough.  However, today, I choose to remember and also to look forward.  I see how far I have come and how far we all have come since 10 years ago.  I hope in remembrance of who and what we have lost, we can work to making our world better.  We can work towards better education and better actions on our part.  We can spread actions of understanding, compassion, and tolerance.  We can pray and send out good energy into the world in the hopes that our small contributions can help this world move towards peace and harmony.

Please hug your friends and family today.

 

**This post was cross posted at Funny Eater**

I’ve come to a conclusion

I am missing out on tasty dishes because I haven’t expanded my cooking repertoire in a while.  I’m considering the purchase of a crock pot, but I couldn’t make up my mind yesterday at Target.  Do I spend extra money to buy one that is programmable or do I just stick with the basics and it doesn’t matter if the stuff is cooking away for extra time when I get caught up at the hospital?

Lately

I have not been the best about blogging lately, not to mention that I haven’t been the best about my diet lately either.  Sigh.  In fact, I haven’t been very good about much of anything lately and this, my friends, is my confessional post.

First off, what I’ve been doing well, for the most part since I have been back in the school swing of things, I have actually managed to maintain my diet pretty well.  I have not really eaten out much and have resisted the temptation of foods and candies offered to me most of the time.  I’m very happy about this.

However, in the last week I have eaten out a bunch of times on the occasion of having my parents visiting and not really feeling motivated to cook and have colored outside the lines more than I really should.  The amount of carbs and things I should not eat but did is really of not nice proportions.

I believe that my body is now protesting all of this abuse.  So it has not been the best of weeks.  I also find myself feeling sort of puffy as a result of my bad eating.

I am back on track, but now I’m feeling lazy, which is not very good.  I did shop for food today at the local farmer’s market and at the grocery store.  I’m considering a jaunt to a farmer’s market an hour away next weekend because I’m told that it is an experience.  We’ll see.  I’m not much in the way motivated to drive lately either.  I think that’s probably good.

My friend posted on facebook about the primal challenge over at Mark’s Daily Apple.  I read the post myself before seeing her facebook status about doing it.  I’m thinking about it, but also don’t want to be derailed from studying because I’m having way more fun participating in the challenge.

If I do the challenge, I probably want to overhaul a lot of things in the next month including my sleeping and exercise.  My sleeping has been all over the place, although I am noticing that I seem to be sleeping better than I used to before I started eating paleo.  So that’s good.  I haven’t exercised since I started school.  I have done a lot of running around at the hospital and standing on my feet, but other than that and walking to and from the hospital, I have not worked out.  I am very, very sad and concerned about this lack of exercise.

On the other hand, I did manage to squeeze in two massages to keep my equilibrium.  So, win some and lose some.

I’m thinking that I will do the challenge, but with my modifications and try to do the challenge without feeling like I need to keep up with the challenge online.  We’ll see.

Anyone else doing the challenge?

PS I saw a stall selling rabbit meat today at the farmer’s market.

What I really want…

Apartment living is really not for me.  Living with an electric flat top stove (which is really not that bad) and no outdoor space to have a grill is really not doing it for me.  I am a gas stove, charcoal grill kind of person.  Plus, I like variety in my life and in my current version, I am cooking everything I eat in pretty much the same way.  Talk about lack of creativity.

Okay, admittedly, I do not have time to really think too hard about how I am going to throw together my next meal, but nonetheless, I’m a little bored.  And today, even though it’s a bit rainy out, I’m thinking about how nice it would be to have a grill to grill some meats and veggies on.  I also saw some grilled peaches on a blog somewhere (sorry, I should be better about linking) and that made me want to grill peaches.  I settled for second best and bought some peaches at the farmer’s market and ate them the way most people eat peaches.

So, I just need to hang on for about 20 months and then hopefully, fingers crossed, I can ditch apartment living and live in a house.  This is all speculation at this point, but I am pretty sure that I will be making choices and planning based on lifestyle issues.  I’m coming to find that my way of thinking, my beliefs are very different from the conventional set.  Honestly, I really don’t see myself butting heads for the rest of my life.  I’d rather do what I want to do and live the way I want to live and let the people who want to live in a similar fashion come to me.

All right, random musing time is up.  Time to do some work around here.

Carb-y, Carb-y

I am craving carbs and sweets and all sorts of things.  I feel like I am hungry, but I ate all my meals today.  What is up with that.  I went to the local farmer’s market here, but the heat made my brain slow, so I didn’t do much in the way of shopping.  I did however stay away from all the carbs and all the tempting cookies and sweets.  I’m just craving them now.

Maybe I’ll go and eat a sweet potato.  I’m feeling an urge for junk food coming on.  Don’t worry, I’m going to raid my fridge for food and since there isn’t any junk food there, I won’t be eating any.

How do you deal with your random non-paleo cravings?